Just for Kidding (2)

Knocking
If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife knocking on the front door who would you let in first?
The dog. at least he would shut up once he is in.

How Did You Know?
A Woman in a store buys milk and bread.
Man at counter: “Bet your’e single”.
Woman: “Yes! You knew it because of what I bought?”.
Man: “No, your’e just ugly”.

Lightbulb
How many rednecks, does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder.

Keep Fit
Tommy- " Can you teach me to do the splits " ?
Gym Instructor- " How flexible are you " ?
Tommy- " Well..I can't make Tuesday's " .

Why do farts stink?
Why do farts stink?
So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Divorces
Why are divorces so expensive?

Because they are worth it.

Fired
Boss: You are Fired!
Employee: Why? I am such a steady worker!
Boss: Yes, If you were any steadier you would be motionless!

Differences
Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 Pounds.
Q: And between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: about 45 minutes.


Who Listens?
First year of marriage: the man speaks, the woman listens.
Second year: the woman speaks, the man listens.
Third year: they both speak and the neighbors listen.